SHOPPING-VITA
OUTLINE
Who-College classmate in National Taiwan University Science and Technology
What her name-Vita
What she like-shopping and playing
What event-go shopping
What happened-chat with friends
kick the small stone
What joke-stumble
How she felt-embarrassing
What the result-continue chat with friends and shopping
Topic sentence-Vita likes go out with friends in the National Taiwan University Science and Technology
STORY
Vita likes go out with friends in the National Taiwan University Science and Technology. One day, she went to shopping in Shi Lin with her friends. They walked and said which is clothing good-looking at the same time. Vita didn't pay attention to the small stones, and then she was stumble. She was very embarrassing because many people in Shi Lin. She looked around and was afraid some people see she stumble by stones. She knew no people detect. She pretended nothing, and continued to chat with friends and shopping.
She knows many place have fun and buy something cheaper.
1 comment:
Dear Mia:
I’m Olivia. After reading your article, I know more about amusing Vita. Your story is really interesting, but I have some suggestions to you.
First, you wrote the wrong school name in first sentence. And there are too many sentences start from “She”. I think you can use other words or some coherence to connect or show the orders. For example, “at first, since, in addition, consequently” are good coherence to use. You can also show your article to others to help you correct the wrong grammar before post it next time.
Good luck!
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