Outline
Who- National University of Science and Technology classmate
What her name- Mia
what event- go to Na-Na ghost house
what happened- step on her shoes
wear the shoes
What joke- her shoes are lost.
She told the ghost to wait for a while
run away
How she felt-terrifying and exciting
what the result – she had a funny memory with friends in the life
Topic sentence=Mia was a daring classmate
Haunted House-Mia
Mia was a daring classmate. One day, She had an exciting experience went to the Na-Na haunted house with her friends, there was a terrifying place and had some people to play a ghost that shocked you. It was so exciting. Her friends were so nervous and then step on her shoes mindless, she told the ghost to wait for while and wear the shoes and run away. She had a funny memory with friends in the life.
She had courage more than others people and had brave to talk with ghost. It was impossible things, but she has done it
4 comments:
Revise your topic sentence, details, and concluding sentence.
Try to work on your grammar.
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It's a funny story. And I believe what Mia did is most chicken-hearted people wanna do. She is a heroine!
It's a funny story. And I believe what Mia did is most chicken-hearted people wanna do. She is a heroine!
I'm Might
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